about

hey, I'm a 19 year old from the UK who's on the internet a little more than I should be, and at some point decided to make better use of my screen time. I'll probably go to university some day if I get my life together. most of my lesiure time is spent listening to shitty 90's music, figuring out what books I want to read next, not reading said books, cooking, messing with language learning apps, and surfing the web. I ought to go outside more. like most people using neocities, I'm trying to move away from the modern web and social media; the pressure that comes from the whole world having access to you 24/7 is suffocating.

I'm a fairly private person, so writing this feels weird for me. so private, in fact, that I can't even give you a name that I use online. and I'm certainly not giving my real name. I don't like it very much anyway.

what I can give you are links to some of my profiles, in places such as;

• storygraph
• melonland
• or even email me at mothpanic@gmail.com

...there's not much else I want to share.

what's this site for?

good question! I'm not sure myself.

obviously, Im more or less done with social media. most of it, at least. you already know why instagram and twitter and whatever else sucks, I don't need to bore you with my own experiences. everything feels too fast, y'know? making your own stuff helps slow things down. it can be hard, but it has to be done.

it was around the summer in 2024 when I just, finally had enough with everything. I hate algorithms, I hate the userbases of places without algorithms, I hate reaching out for attention and feeling weird when I actually get any. I don't know how anyone puts up with it! I don't know how anyone gets addicted to Twitter. so I gathered what little knowledge of code I'd collected from forum posting, realised BBCode is a completely different thing, and headed forth anyway.

there's no deep rooted interest in the older web aside from the general problems with the modern web that you've seen thousands of people write manifestos about already. this is just something I do sometimes. though, there's nothing like watching something slowly progress and become bigger than what you'd ever imagined, a desire in which most of my hobbies seen to have risen. I never thought I'd be able to, like, do something with this site. it's nice. doing things for the sake of it is healthy, I think.

so I guess it's just for a little fun? a break from the internet? the modern internet? I truly don't know myself.

general life aspirations

• get a degree in... anything at this rate. I'm thinking psychology but I'm not picky.
• own and adequately care for a cat.
• learn to make good layer cakes.
• live in an apartment by myself.
• be able to read near fluently and converse well enough in Spanish, and maybe Russian (so I can use the internet more).
• get a PhD. not because I need one, I just think it sounds cool. I don't expect to achieve this goal.

this is the same status.cafe feed as on the front page, of course. yes I am putting it here twice.

these might be changed to plain old mp3 files once I set up everything else here. hope it won't be too difficult.

another thing is that I used to do was drawing. it was mostly pretty bad. I'm considering setting up an archive of it somewhere regardless, just for nostalgia. I'd like to look back at it in a few years. I stopped drawing at around... 17? just before I hit 17?

anyway sona doodle. this is ~2 months old (as of April 2025) and is the first time I've drawn anything since, uh, feels like forever. I still consider myself a furry. I've been telling myself that I'd grow out of it some day since I was 12. :/