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mini journal (until I decide to make a separate page for one)

21/5/25 - just saw a woman wearing shorts with 'mentally unstable' written on it in trendy font but Im not allowed to roll up my sleeves in public so that's how the mental health movement is going.

20/5/25 - I GOT IT I GOT TWINFANTSAY CD AND OCTOBRE RUST SND NGE MANGA IT WAS IN THE SOTRE It was calling me I had to buy it and then aI got BLood Meridian too to cover the fact that I bought manga. this is m yfirst actual physical manga ever in my life. oh my fucking god. Twin Fnatasy has loads of cute art with it too. I could cry for real.

19/5/25 - we might not be getting our moth girl. every member of Sisters of Mercy needs to be sucked off sloppy each time Amphetamine Logic is played. each member of Jack Off Jill needs to be eaten out for every play of Lovesong. being an ex-cutter is so stupid because I start sweating every time I walk past the stationary section. if I don't get a copy of Twin Fantasy soon Ill cry real tears.

17/5/25 - as someone who somewhat identifies with 'gifted kid syndrome' Ill always be devestated that it degraded from 'here's how this specific form of neglect affects a specific and up until now overlooked sect of students in this specific way' into 'peaked at 12.' genuinely one of the most infuriating things Ive watched happen in real time. nowadays 'burnt out gifted kid' has a 90% chance of referring to someone who still wants to brag about being slightly smarter than average before high school. come on.

14/5/25 - I should write about Flight Rising.

13/5/25 - just watched Anerican Psycho for the first time, and yea, it's one of my favourite books, but is this the movie that filmbros go crazy over? people think they relate to this guy? was that it? all the best scenes were cut out, which is understandable considering there's only so much runtime and the dissociation that Bateman feels is only clear through the switches in writing style, but still. solid 5/10.

12/5/25 - I remember back in 2020 when I was posting art on instagram, I went through someone's anime figure stories. so many figures with all sorts of clutter in the background and kaomojis layered over them. one of them, upon closer inspection, had the person's pill bottles in the background with enough of the label visible to see that they were intense antidepressants and their deadname. I considered letting them know about it but they were posting softcore and I was a minor. if you're out there, and had a huge danganronpa phase and was drawing and writing fanfiction, had a couple thousand followers, and had a hundred page long figure collection pinned, please tell me if I did the right thing. I still think about you.

6/5/25 - I adore my book review page so much. like, it's mine, completely mine, I get to do what I want with it, I get to style it and write with the words that I want to use, Im not looking for attention, it's... wow. is this how things used to be? this feels incredible. also the bearded dragon guy came back into work yesterday. same little harness. pulled my first successful pint of carlsberg too. I was getting a bit too happy so my body decided my period had to start. just making sure I didn't get too ahead of myself there. I should never have deleted my toyhou.se, I regret it so much.

1/5/25 - Ao3 is a fine site I just hate the culture surrounding it. yes you actually would benefit reading real literature rather than oneshot PWPs constantly. so now when I want to write somehing that is akin to fanfiction (i.e. not fully original characters) these are the only people I have to turn to for critique. 'Dante's Inferno is bible fanfiction' grass cannot fix you. Im kinda laughing that the site got scraped recently I think some of these people deserve it. anyway my day's going great and my writing projects too. :)

29/4/25 - saw a bearded dragon at work the other day. he was on a leash and leather harness. chilling on a customer's shoulder. I work in a cafe. didn't cause any problems. should've taken a picture. add some fresh raspberries to your brownie batter before you bake it and eat it while it's still hot. trust me on this. the shelves in my local supermarket are full of heavily discounted easter chocolates because nobody's buying them.

24/4/25 - I have a cold! in April! the page that I was talking about in the beginning of this log was about mental health resources, but Im not sure how exactly to approach this topic. how much of my own experience do I include? what info is out there already? but I know that I want to do it.

22/4/25 - I wish I drew more stuff. and wrote more stuff. and studied more stuff. Im behind on most of my writing projects and it's killing me (not literal). eating lemon drizzle hot cross buns. I wanna watch good anime but I have no idea where to look for it since I stopped suing social media for the most part. is Angel's Egg good? My Broken Mariko? should I finish Goodnight Punpun? rewatch Evangelion? Lain? watch Lain again? once you stop watching anime it feels impossible to start again. have I outgrown it? but then where do I go now? do I just not like TV?

15/4/25 - mainly writing here to make sure webring owners know that Im still alive. if you're thinking about deleting tumblr then this is your sign to do it. I haven't yet but I think you should. finally got Audition by Ryu Murakami, which Ive been looking for for about a year now. ate the nicest brownie ever the other day. 7up tastes rancid. Im reading books a little faster than I can review them, although that's not saying much since my motivation to write is low.

7/4/25 - period cramps make me want to kill myself and mine aren't that bad. finished Dracula review and I still don't think it's great but whatever. I have a job after months of searching. fuck I want some chocolate. I need to go to the store. I wish I could run video games on my laptop. Id play Needy Streamer Overload and Rainworld. they both look fun.

2/4/25 - getting back into reading has been great but now Im slacking off with Spanish content. I always had to force myself to watch youtube videos anyway but now I have other things to actually do it's getting even harder.love the new book page layout, still looking for ways to improve it though. always will be, probably.

26/3/25 - why am I so hungry all the time? I love food but hunger is just annoying. there's a couple things I wanna do with the general formatting of this site but Im scared that implementing it might, y'know, crash the whole thing. god, I don't even have graphics for this place. I do want a more digital-themed background for the blog page that I have planned (!!) but I suck at graphic design. if the owner of the webmaster webring is reading this thank you for adding me!! I don't know email etiquette so this is how Im showing my thanks.

19/3/25 - starting to wish that I could, like, fail at everything around me so nothing will be expected of me again. maybe if I started fucking things up in school a little Id be in a better position now. word of advice - get all your frustrations out during your school years in any way you need to as long as it doesn't affect your final grades, or you'll end up with no idea how to cope later on. I saw how my friends ended up. I should've started throwing things at people. fuck.

15/3/25 - time is passing way too fast. I should start writing physically more often. the internet is getting boring for me again and I don't know what to do instead. putting off the project that would bring us our little moth. started playing Hollow Knight again.

9/3/25 - head hurts. developing a slight fascination with hounds (borzois, italian greyhound, etc.) due to their odd facial features. I need some friends. Im set on our moth mascot (mothscot?) being a swallow prominent. need to get back into physical journaling, even if it's just a sentence per day.

8/3/25 - Im, like, kind of a furry. sorta. it's hard for me to argue that Im not one. so! I want a mascot for this page who is an anthropomorphic animal. probably a moth. Ive tried doodling her, but Im not really an artistic person, so Im struggling to come up with something Im happy with. currently jumping between a muslin moth (purple) and a lesser swallow prominent (cool wings) (both fuzzy). might make her a nurse or something, given some of the pages I wanna add later. might add myself to the furry ring if I do all this. I am cringe but I am free.