Advice For My Slightly Younger Self

23/2/26

Brush your teeth more.

Good job for not vaping.

It’s okay to tell people little things about yourself. There's no pride to be taken in being so secretive, and nobody’s holding anything against you.

Pet your dog more, she’s getting old. Take her for more walks.

No, seriously, nobody’s watching you, or trying to ruin your life. You're fine.

Eat more vegetables. Learn to cook them properly sooner.

Language learning will become one of your biggest hobbies. Pick any language other than Spanish. You will have no connection to any Spanish-speaking countries or cultures.

Some alone time is good, but don’t spend any period having zero friends. I know this is perfectly viable for you, so why you choose not to do it is a mystery. You won’t feel much better in this apathy/burnout cycle.

Throw away the razors and just tell one of your teachers that you want to die. Tell one of your friends if you have to, they’ll do something about it.

Phone calls aren’t that scary.

Generally, if you ask someone to back off - physically or emotionally - they will. Like, that’s allowed. You can just do that, and they’ll understand.

Don’t delete all your contacts.

Delete all your social media.

Keep making shitty drawings. You don’t have to finish them all or even make them look nice, but you know how much fun you have coming up with ideas.

Maybe start writing? You have lots of ideas but you never record any of them.

You’re not dying young, or failing your exams, or going to end up dragging yourself along for the rest of your life. Get over yourself.

Your friends are like that because they enjoy your company. Just ask them for some alone time instead of deliberately ignoring them. You're better than that.

Take more pictures and videos. Get an SD card to keep them all in.

You’re good enough at studying but you need to keep up that momentum or you’ll crash down. Genuinely lock in.

Be nicer to your fucking friends. We're all miserable, it’s not just you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start connecting with people.

With all that being said, you really are picking the worst options to associate with, huh. You’re picking some weird social hills to die on.

Try volunteering. It’ll look good on a CV.

Play all the stupid video games that you want to. Try some of the ones that you’re not quite sure about yet.

It’s 12:30 at night and earlier I was starting to feel bad. I don’t use any other description for it. I think that I do that on purpose, so I don’t have to say something like, ‘sometimes I really wish that I died ages ago so I wouldn’t have to have lived up to this point, even though nothing’s really wrong and if anything I have it quite easy.’ I tend to write a lot when I feel this way, but almost none of it sees the light of day. Lately I’ve been reading snippets that resonated with this feeling, so I feel comfortable posting this. I could get rid of it tomorrow evening.